This Just In: Simon Cowell isn’t the biggest boob on AI.

Well aren’t you a lucky S.O.B. today! untitled is on her way to a conference on the West coast, and she left me (untitledhusband) in charge of this beast. Actually, it’s more like she didn’t “have time” to write something before she left. I’m not really surprised. If it wasn’t for me, people, this blog would have ended at Numero Uno. I keep Mrs. untitled on task. I knew this was one of my jobs when I married her. I was fully aware she was voted “Most Likely to Be Late” her senior year of high school. I have the yearbook picture to prove it. I wish I could share it with you — can you say mall hair? Suffice it to say, untitled did her part to keep the hair spray industry booming in the 80’s.

Anyway, let’s get this out of the way. I am not a writer. And I don’t have my human spelling/grammar-checker here (a.k.a. untitled) to proof-read this for me. I’m only filling in because nobody else can. Consider yourself warned.

untitled and I have watched American Idol since the first season. It’s a standard on the TiVo To-Do list. Every year we tune in to watch the horrible singers, and we compete with eachother to see if we can pick the next American Idol during the auditions. I’m proud to say that I picked Carrie Underwood when I saw her first audition last year.

Last evening’s episode was taped in Greensboro, NC — home of Idol queens Clay Aiken and Fantasia. The show was chalked full of the requisite freaks. I swear, this one dude looked like the love child of Vince Neil and Michael Jackson. If you saw it, you know who I’m talking about.

However, the biggest freak(s) of them all did not appear to get an audition. And, If you turned away from your TV for a second during the show’s open, you might have missed her. Or, them. I was looking straight at the TV, and did I see them. It turned into a classic TiVo slow-moment. Rewinding and moving forward, frame-by-frame, to make sure I just saw what I saw. This one is right up there with Janet Jackson at the Superbowl.

I present to you, the REAL American Idols:

Idols on Fox