Lewd Limericks (#1 in a series).

This is the first limerick I’ve written since the fourth grade. Well, aside from “There was an old man from Nantucket,” which I drunkenly recited from atop the food service salad bar in college. Now that I’ve completed my first masterworks (about my tampon-eating dog, no less), I feel that I am at one with myself. Yes, I’ve submerged myself in a heady soup of iambic pentameter and cuss words, and I’ve never been more inspired.

There once was a dog from Pratt
Who was famous for taking a foul shat
The turds roasted in the sun
Like illegal aliens on the run
Until our flip-flops squeezed them all flat.

More Lewd Limericks are to follow, as the profanity muse sees fit.