Last weekend during a shopping-induced frenzy, untitledhusband and I dropped $473 at the mall. We don’t know how it happened. We went there to buy me a few new bras. My old ones have gotten a bit big, and were making my girls looking less like melons and more like two zucchinis. I also got some running shoes, workout clothes and socks, which turned out to be the hardest decision of the day.
So I walk into Lady Footlocker and drop the bomb. “I’m going to start running, so I need some running shoes and socks.” It can’t be everday that a girl of my size walks in with this kind of optimism, but the sales clerk held it together regardless. Once she recovered, she hooked me up with the most comfortable shoes I have ever worn outside of my Crocs, which made me question the cartel responsible for withholding these babies from the general non-exercising population. Must one run (or even leave the couch for that matter) to experience such comfort? Blasphemy.
After overcoming the orgasm induced by said shoes, I headed towards the large barrel filled with white athletic socks. “Low-rise or mid-rise?” she asked. I must’ve stood there for five minutes, trying to decide. This was a conundrum, for I am from the generation that has seen every sock trend imaginable. I have clear memories of wearing purple and gold knee-shooters while playing basketball in junior high. Somewhere between then and high school, socks became scrunched (all the better to showcase those pegged jeans). Now, it seems we have the invisi-sock. Unless there is a market for hosiery that only covers ones toenails, there is nowhere to go but up.
This revelation has me awaiting the return of thigh-highs — socks that would make even the thinnest of legs look like paunchy, cottony Greek columns. Socks that could double as Wilt Chamberlin’s sleeping bag. They would protect my inner thighs from the inevitable chafe of my early morning spins on the elliptical. I would gladly rock the look of the fat chick from Meatballs if it meant I could forego the Gold Bond for just one summer. But being an overweight 36 year-old from the Midwest, I fear my vision might be misinterpreted as high-functioning autism or worse yet, fashion ignorance.
So until the sock apocolypse arrives, it looks like I will be wearing the shorties. Every other part of my body is well-covered, but my ankles are out there, naked and free, spotlighting vein patterns that only moms and injured gymnasts have. I have one body part free from jiggle and stretch marks, and by god, I ought to flaunt it.
Awesome on the running! And yeah, go low-rise socks. Are you sharing recent pictures soon?
My mom recently lost a bunch of weight. When she got new bra’s my dad said it made her boobs go from extra-long to regulars.
Nice huh?
Congrats on your continued success and way to go on running!!!
An asockolypse — what a concept!
Hi Untitled! My surgery is scheduled for August 6th. Any words of wisdom for me? Did you freak out when it got close to your d-day? Have you had any kind of problems from your surgery? Thx!
Greentshirt, I’m so exited for you! You will look back on this decision as the best one you have ever made - trust me. You will wonder why you didn’t do this years ago.
There is nothing to be nervous about - it will be much easier than you think. It is harder mentally, than physically. The hardest part is the 1 month after surgery, when you’re only drinking broth. You’re not going to be hungry, but mentally, you will miss chewing. I suggest stocking up on sugar-free popsicles — they will be your saviour during this time. I have had no problems with my surgery. One of my incisions got infected, but that was minor.
I am five months out now. I have lost 64 pounds since surgery, 84 pounds total. I can eat pretty much anything, just in smaller amounts (like about 1/4 of what I used to eat). I can even eat sweets (but very small amounts — otherwise I throw up). I do not feel deprived in any way.
Absolutely everything about my life is better these days. I can physically go and go and go and not get tired. I have tons of energy. I can shop in just about any store, and wear clothes I actually like. The effect this has on one’s mental state cannot be overstated.
The one thing I was careful about was telling people about my surgery. Anyone you tell will be always keeping tabs on what you eat, etc. Personally, I’ve only told a handful of people (and you guys, of course). If someone who is overweight asks me what I’m doing to lose weight, I’m honest with them (maybe this will help them out). With others, I just say I’m watching what I eat and exercising (which is true). I just don’t want to be a spectacle or be judged.
If you haven’t checked out http://www.obesityhelp.com, you’ll want to do that. I go there every day for inspiration and wisdom. Just don’t compare your weight loss with others. Everyone’s body is different, and everyone’s surgery is different. Some surgeons bypass more intestine (which results in faster weight loss but more food intolerances and malabsorption issues). Other surgeons like mine bypass less intestine (which results in a bit slower weight loss but less food intolerances and malabsorption issues). I’ve heard that at the end of one year, we all lose about the same amount of weight though.
If you have specific questions, you can email me anytime.
untitled
Take me shopping with you. Please?
I need to go, and I feel you would be the perfect motivator.
“Yes. Buy that $400 leather coat. You NEED it.”
Also, I am happy that things are going so well for you so far after the surgery! I’m looking forward to the next photo update. Maybe you should paste different heads on you every time. Like, the head you could photoshop on this time could be, say, Richard Nixon. I say him because his name first popped into my mind. Which is an issue I will face at a later date.
Thanks for the reply! I practically live over at OH. I also participate on a very active WLS community on live journal. I have two or three real life friends that have had the surgery too, so I feel like I’m as prepared as I can possibly be. As the day gets closer, I feel more and more excited and less nervous.
I’m thrilled for you and look forward to watching you shrink, shrink, shrink.
hilarious! what a joyous web site this is. i stumbled on this by accident, and i am thrilled. seriously some of the best blog writing out there. cheers!