In the vein of “Saving Ryan’s Privates.”

When I picked up untitledson from Montessori the other day, his teacher told me that he loved watching the movie “Snow White” during nap time when the other children sleep.

This is no surprise to me. He loves anything on TV. He’d watch a “Judge Judy” marathon if given the opportunity. But what I wouldn’t give to curl up on his little blue mesh cot and catch a few winks, and he’s just frittering it all away. Oh, the folly of youth.

He loves the “Hi Ho” song as sung by the seven dwarves. In particular, he enjoys the part when they hold the “ho,” as in “Hi HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” So I asked him, “Can you sing me the ‘Hi Ho’ song?” He did so, but in his version, the words are “My Hole.” Or more like “My HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!” So in context, it goes like this: “My hole. My hole. It’s off to work we go.”

I always knew those damn dwarves were up to no good. It just goes to prove my theory — never trust a man wearing a tunic (or one that lives in the woods with six other men, for that matter). I must remember not to laugh at untitledson. It’s not his fault. He springs from the loins of a man I caught singing along with Stevie Nicks using the words “Just like a one-winged dove.”

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