I have seen much in my 36 years. I have seen Ratt live in concert. I have watched my Dad piss on his neighbor’s car door handle (another post altogether). And most recently, while at untitledmother’s house for Christmas, I watched on as untitledsister-in-law gave her one year-old son (my nephew) a drink of Mountain Dew straight from the can. What, no Jaegermeister? I hear it’s good for teething.
This wouldn’t be such a huge friggin’ deal if this child had not been born 13 weeks premature, or if this was the first time June Cleaver had lifted a can of tin can tooth-rot to the lips of a child. If there is a parenting mistake to be made, untitledsister-in-law has made it. Setting her children in front of the TV for hours on end - check. Taking a one-month old baby camping in the Midwest in February - check. Smoking while pregnant - check.
Now ask me — how could I possibly dedicate one hour of my week (an early morning hour, no less) to a god who would allow such fuckupedness? I am a prudent consumer. I don’t frequent Taco Bell cause their refried beans give me the shits. And I most certainly don’t spend an hour each week worshipping an invisible being who rewards incapable parents with more children.
Perhaps you think me bitter. Perhaps you’d be right. But it’s hard to be a ray of sunshine in the face of such shitty circumstances. And no, I don’t want to see your ultrasound pictures, dear cousin (untitledhusband’s cousin, actually). I really don’t want to think about how you and your husband were handcuffed and hauled away in front of your two children for manufacturing meth in your home. And I don’t want to hear about how after three years in prison, you reunited and got pregnant with your third child within one month. Being that we tried for two years to have a second child and could not, this is somewhat difficult for me. I’m sure god has a plan, and that there is a little lesson nestled in this shitnest somewhere. Perhaps I’ll find it on Sunday morning while I’m at home in my sweatpants, reading the Satanic Verses.
I think that’s the only thing sometimes that keeps me going…faith… that I will someday get the message I’m supposed to get. It’s taking awhile, though.
Especially living in Stepford.
I think God is way too busy to answer mere mortal’s prayers. The omni-everything bearded one is all consumed rolling dice and watching 10 car pile-ups as a result. On Thursday’s he plays darts. Whenever he hits a bulls-eye a tsunami wipes out a village of hard working people. In the afternoon he juggles. Imagine what happens when he drops a ball. Crazy you say? Makes as much sense as praying to an invisible dude who totally “loves” you yet refuses to even utter a single word in your direction. Hang in there Untitled, I’m no god but I am a real person who’s bumming for you. And for all of you who think me a heathen (in the words of comedian Dave Attell) “I don’t worship the Devil, I do however agree with a lot of the things he tells me”
I know the feeling. A coworker currently is taking care of 3 foster children because her sister in law likes the drugs. She’s also pregnant again (and still doing drugs). It’s pathetic and it makes me angry that I can’t have one child but a 23 year old coke-addict has 3 that she can’t take care of and another one on the way that she still won’t be able to take care of. God will have to forgive me for spending my sunday mornings at the casino
LOVE the new new look!
Wow, this place looks great! Did you get Heather Armstrong to make the header for you? It looks like her work. Very nice.
Love the new look!
Now, when referring to God, what’s this “he” shit?
Of course, that might explain some of what goes on on this planet.
Thanks for the kind words. Mike, I love the Dave Attell quote — he’s hilarious.
The new look is something that I came up with and untitledhusband executed. We did use a photoshop paint brush (the flowers) that I found via Dooce’s website, but the implementation was all ours.
Glad you all like it! I feel like it’s a step up, design-wise. There are some new features for searching and browsing the archives too.
The new look is great!
Hope your reading went well. I always feel better after reading a few verses and letting the children play with sharp objects. What better way to start off your week?
LOVE the new site.