Getting my blog on, Thanksgiving edition.

Well hoodie hoo. Look who’s back. I feel like the party guest who arrives two hours late and a tad underdressed for the occasion. Me and my tuxedo t-shirt, we’re just going to slip in unnoticed and make ourselves at home amongst the cocktail weenies and Chex mix.

An update on things — we are finally settled in our new house. It’s nice and all, but now we’re freaking out about the mortgage. First payment is due in January, and I’m starting to wonder just how many handjobs I’ll have to perform each weekend to avoid defaulting within the first six months.

I have been lugging around this immense guilt for neglecting my blog and not answering my e-mails. It’s tough to collect one’s thoughts and write about anything of interest when the toilet paper is still packed away and you are forced to use old Hardees napkins. They may fall a bit short at the dinner table, but I’m happy to report that they do a bang-up job of clogging the toilet. Of course, my guilt didn’t keep me from watching the “Flavor of Love” marathon on VH1 yesterday. There’s eight hours I’ll never get back. Good god. This here is why untitledlife is anonymous. How else could I admit to such shameful viewing behavior.

My absence has provided me with a slew of unfortunate events and embarassing situations to share with y’all, which I will do throughout the next few weeks. The topper — untitledmother cutting her ingrown toenail in my living room. On Thanksgiving day. In front of everyone. And yes, she left the clippings right there on my ottoman. I guess I should just be glad that she didn’t shave down her calouses at the dinner table or clean out her ears with the turkey fork. In the spirit of the holidays, I’ll leave you with that pleasant visual for now. I know, I shouldn’t have. But I did. So there.

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