Comments on: Anger management, preschool style.

By: Elaine Thaddel

Elaine Thaddel — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 18:28:49 +0000

Well, I fear my response is going to be rather unpopular, but here goes. I am a pre-school teacher. I found this site while searching for some information on how to best handle a 3 year old in my class. This youngster is biting, kicking (this he did to me), headbutting (also done to me), hitting (also done to me), screaming and putting other children in headlocks. This has all occured in the first two days of his attendance. The parents are more than aware of this behavior. Of course we are trying to work with them and are attempting to help him use new ways to chanel his emotions. Now then, I found the original message interesting and the subsequent posts troubling. I think parents have become more interested in the “high fructose corn syrup in the yogurt” and the methodology of one pre-school over the next (i.e. montessori vs. traditional) that we aren’t focusing on the basics of child rearing. There are lots of distrations in parenting. So, you hear or read that someoone has had their child in montessori since “age 2 1/2 til 1st grade” and now “he is a GATE student as a sophmore in highschool.” This is fantastic, you want your child to be able to compete in an increasingly competitive world, but don’t get so caught up. Getting them set on the right academic path, ensuring their getting the proper nutrition, etc IS important. However, what’s more important is teaching them to be descent people. Noone can teach them that, but you. It’s fascinating that the general consensus of the respondents said “your son is (imitating) what he saw at his old preschool. Once he sees that not’s acceptable at his new school, he will adapt.” Yes, children are young and impressionable. They will push the limits and test boundaries, but this is where your job begins. You must teach them. It doesn’t matter if it’s montessori, traditional, private, or boarding school. They will follow your lead because you should’ve laid the foundation. In other words, when a child is told “we do not hit” or “we share with our friends” or “you hurt (insert name here) feelings” they understand because it isn’t the first time they’re hearing it. When your child is young you take them by the hand and show them the way. Occasionally you let them go a little distance on their own. All the while knowing they’re going to stray off. That’s when you find them, put them back on the right path and continue moving forward pointing out danger signs, path markers and pitfalls. As they become older the distance they travel on the path alone becomes increasingly longer until finally they’re on their own. However, through the years you’ve shown them the way. It is those lessons that they’ll use as their compass. If you’ve done your job there’s no way they’ll ever be lost.

I sincerely hope that I have not offended anyone. If I did it was not my intent. I just can’t imagine laughing off behavior once the teacher has felt it necessary to bring to your attention.

By: Anne Arky

Anne Arky — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 15:49:33 +0000

I always take this kind of thing with a grain of salt, especially at his age, ever since I read a Teacher’s Report concerning a 2-year-old girl who she called “immature”. The mother’s response was, “If you can’t be immature at 2, when CAN you?”

By: Piglet

Piglet — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 20:40:47 +0000

My son has been acting completely bizarro since starting pre-school. I am not sure who he is almost. Hopefully, his pre-school isn’t some weird kind of kid-cloning operation.

I was told recently by a therapist to google “normal (insert age here) behavior”. It’s come to that. Too bad I don’t have anything to pull from as a former (insert age here).

By: Sandra

Sandra — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 19:09:04 +0000

OK, I know it was naughty, but how cute do you think these little guys looked? *grin*

By: Janice

Janice — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 18:05:07 +0000

Montessori… what an awsome experience for your child. My son is a former student as well, age 2 1/2 til 1st grade. Well I dont like to brag (ok maybe I do) but he is a GATE student as a sophmore in highschool now. Maybe it wasnt all Montessori (i like to think hes just a natural genius) but I know it gave him the upper hand with learning. The concepts they teach WILL make him a better student, from now on. Congrats and good luck… Head lock? ppsshhhtt if thats the worst thing he ever does :):)

By: Aye Davanita

Aye Davanita — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 18:42:24 +0000

I have to say though…the visual of a 3 year old putting another 3 year old in a headlock is funny. Wrong. But funny.

By: Margaret

Margaret — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:29:51 +0000

Isn’t one of the basic ideas behind Montessori that they won’t kick him out, that they’ll help him deal with his temper as he matures to the point where he can control it?

By: Aye Davanita

Aye Davanita — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:22:14 +0000

I have two boys ages 6 and 7. They are night and day. The youngest is quick to hit or yell at someone if he gets angry, but only towards his siblings. (I have a daughter) The only problems I have with him at school is the occasional “too much talking.”
I’m sure your son is imitation what he saw at his old preschool. Once he sees that not’s acceptable at his new school, he will adapt. He’s still young.

By: Woman with Kids

Woman with Kids — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 14:07:57 +0000

I think it’s normal for a three year old, normal for a boy period. Boy 1 is almost 12 and still - STILL! - will try to put Boy 2 in a headlock if he thinks I’m not looking.

Thank goodness for those eyes in the back of my head.

By: Chris

Chris — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 13:02:36 +0000

Welcome to the club. I have 3 sons and one husband that makes me feel like I have 4 sons. The only way I kept mine from killing each other, teachers, friends, is to threaten to remove the beloved DVD or playdate from them. They were always warned first and if they became little shits again whatever I told them was gone, was. It didn’t take them long to figure out that since I am outnumbered, I rule and am the supreme bitch. Worked every time.