On Saturday, we had untitleddog put down. He turned 9 last May, and has been plaqued with health problems. I’m not going to run down the list of reasons we had to do this. I feel like I’m trying to justify our decision, and at times, I’m not completely sure we did the right thing. Some days, he was fine. Other times, he’d puke up every drop of water he drank. He’d pee on the floor. His back was so sore, he couldn’t climb stairs properly. But yet, I’m not sure we did the right thing.
He hopped into the car so willingly on his last morning, excited to be going for a ride. untitledhusband rolled the windows down and let him get his sniffs of the humid summer air, which smelled of grass clippings and sunshine. untitledhusband gave him a chocolate chip cookie, and told him we loved him, that he was a good dog. Then he carried him in to the vet’s office, set him on a steel table, and held him as he got his last shot. He was always good about getting shots — he never whimpered or pulled back. He just took them. It lasted about 10 seconds, and untitledhusband held him to his chest as untitledog’s breath left his body. When he returned home, I could tell by untitledhusband’s face that he would carry that moment with him forever. Â
untitleddog’s fur was like warm velvet. I called him “an electric blanket on legs.” There was nothing better than having him at your ankles in bed on a cold night. He used to put his Kong (the only dog toy he couldn’t destroy) between his front paws and drag it around the yard in a backwards motion that looked like humping. He ate tampons whenever he could score them. He would chase a plastic ball around the yard like a seal in the circus, leaping at it and sending it skyward with his long nose. He once escaped from a plastic dog kennel, using his teeth to tear through the hard plastic. The caper resulted in an abscessed tooth, which required an expensive extraction. I held him like a baby every night when untitledhusband and I were separated, for at the time, I thought I’d never have a baby of my own.
A year later, when we brought untitledson home from the hospital, untitleddog sniffed him up and down and declared him good. If he was jealous, he did not show it. Throughout the ear pulling and smothering and hugs, he was always a gentleman. Or dog. A gentledog. In the last few months, he’d taken to sleeping in untitledson’s toddler bed — perhaps because it was easy to get in to. It made me sad to think that untitledson would not grow up with him around.Â
I sit here crying, for I’m not sure we did right by him. And now, it doesn’t matter what I think. It’s done. I hope I can quit crying about this at some point. Cry headaches are such a bitch. Wherever his little soul is, I hope he understands why we did what we did. I hope he knows how empty the house feels, and how sad I get when I see his Milk Bones in the pantry. As we told untitledson, he’s in heaven right now. His body no longer worked. The good part is that his back is no longer sore, and he never throws up anymore. The bad part is that he can’t ever come home.  Â
I’m so sorry for your pain.
if i could i’d give you a hug and cry right along with you.
We lost ours 2 weeks ago and my heart is broken too. How come I seem to only remember his big brown eyes, his 130 pound body sitting on grandma’s antique chair when he thought we couldn’t see him–I need to remember the chair that he ate, the times he ran his huge body in front of me and tripped me and countless other annoying things..but right now all I can see is his trusting look when we walked into the vet for the last time. He trusted me with all of his being and he had no idea why we were there.
Give hubby an extra hug-I am sure he could use it.
That is the saddest thing I have ever heard. I wish I could give you my wienie dog to make you feel better. Your heart will mend, but you will keep the scar. I dread the day my wienie goes to “The Upper Room”. It will be a sad day indeed. I’m going to try to stop crying now.
Please please do not look back and second guess yourself. Larger dogs at his age, the issues and pains they have, you must not try to justify yourself. You helped him. Without going into a long all about me, suffice it to say, it only gets worse when they’re at that point and the pain of having him barely be able to lift his head and beg you for help…you did the RIGHT thing. My employer at the time let me and my husband take leave as if a family member had died. And he was. He’s better now, running in a field young and happy again….my condolences to you and yours.
You are in my heart.
I’m crying with you.
I am so sorry to read this. After 21 years, I had to put my cat down two years ago. It was extremely difficult, but I also knew that she deserved to go peacefully and with some dignity. During her last few breaths, she knew that she was safe in my arms. I honestly believe that was the kindest thing I could have done for her.
I have attached something I found in a Dear Abby a number of years ago that I really think says it better than I had ever seen before.
____________________
A DOG’S PRAYER
by Beth Norman Harris
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of mine.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements. And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Though you had no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my god and I am your devoted worshipper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest — and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
I’m sitting here at my desk crying for you! We had to do the same to our dog not quite two years ago. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, yet I know it was the right thing.
My parents are getting close to having to do the same with their dog. The only time I’ve ever seen my father cry was when we lost an animal. Oh, and when my brother got married, but not when I did (not that I’m bitter about that or anything), but I digress.
*big hugs*
I’m so sorry. I miss my dog every day and it’s been 5 years now. I hope that you will get untitledson a new dog when you can bear it. My kids need a dog as well…
You’re killing me today.
My girlfriend is leaving me….and my dog is 10 yrs old and not well.
Sucks.
Two years ago this week, we had the vet come to our house to take care of the white “creamer” lab we rescued 5 years previously when he was 7. Wasn’t eating and I tried everything. Had a huge growth. Could’ve had surgery but would not have prolonged his life for more than a few weeks. It was the hardest phone call I’ve ever made in my life. While the vet was doing what needed to be done, I held him and petted him, telling him the story of how we got him and how lucky we were to have him (we were newlyweds and will never have children) and how we’d tell any dog we got subsquently all about him.
We’re leaving that house in a few weeks but his ashes are coming with us. We waited a year before we got another Lab. We think we might get a smaller dog to keep him company in a while. Love dachshunds. My ex- still has the one I picked out and raised in 1992, but she favored him more than me, and I didn’t have the heart to separate them.
But take your time in replacing him and hug your husband for having the respect for your dog to be with him until the end. It’s so hard but no regrets.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sucks to have the added pain of indecision and second-guessing yourself along with the pain of losing your companion.
My eyes were stinging as soon as I saw the picture & headline…., not the incredible tampon-pooping dog!
I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband had to put down our 16 year old black (lab) cat (we liked to call him a lab b/c I had trained him to fetch and he was very good at opening doors!) He was in pain but it hurt so much!…, I know I saw him in my house for years and one of my sons claims to see him too. Funny how they’re not supposed to have souls…., I don’t believe it for a minute. I’ve met animals with more soul than most humans.
Oh, I’m just sorry for the whole sad untitledfamily today. Wish I had some words of pet wisdom to make you feel better, but let’s picture untitleddog running around dog heaven with a giant, mega-superabsorbent, Milk Bone flavored tampon.
Oh so sad! Usually you make me laugh and cheer up my day but today you are down and I really feel for you. I wish I could cheer you up like you have me so many days…
I think rose above said it all…LOL
My dog lived for 19 years. When we put him down, I had never known a day without him in the house or my life. Run over by various cars 5 times, our vet saved his life over and over. When it was time for the final ride in the deepening twilight of his life, we all knew it was the rght thing. I was surprisingly lost without him for a long time.
People, your thoughtful words mean a lot to me and untitledhusband right now. This is more difficult than we imagined — especially last night when untitledson started crying about missing untitleddog. “I want him to come home from heaven,” he sobbed. I had just taken him out of the tub, and I held him to me, his little doggie hooded towel quivering from his sadness. Oh, I miss the stinkhound so.
I know you need some time to heal but…its sounds like you need a puppy…
untitledhusband, what a man. i’m sorry you had to experience what you did; but, on the other hand, i am happy for you that you were able to spend those last moments with untitledog.
untitled, you did the right thing. untitledgod is at peace now. i am sorry for your pain and will be thinking of you and sending lots of good thoughts to help your heart heal.
I’m so sorry untitled. You, untitledhusband and untitledson are in my thoughts.
Best of luck through this time. I know how hard it is.
I’m so sorry. I know exactly what you’re going through. I had to have our 13 year old cat put down a couple of months ago. Hardest decision you’ll ever have to make, for sure.
I’m so sorry. There are few things that are more heartbreaking.
I am sorry for your as well…I read your story at work and could not respond because I knew I would start weeping while writing…
I read your story the first day and started tearing up immediately. I, also called a vet doctor to my house to have my 15 year old friend put down. It happened on the foot of our bed - where he had spent the last two days (2 and a half years ago). It seemed like he knew what was going on, because he started yapping like “please give me one more day…”. But I knew he was in a lot of pain and that he was really not comfortable.
I, too, held him down while the shot was administered. It was the hardest thing for me to do to my best friend. I left him lay on the bed for a few hours while we mourned his passing, and then carried him out to the casket I made for him the week before.
I did not want him to be ‘taken care of’ by anyone else, and wanted to bury him in my backyard. This was 1/08/04 and the ground was pretty well frozen (Wyoming). He spent the night in the casket at 15° on his bed with his blanket. The next day (I called sick in from work) I rented a jackhammer and dug out his new home in a designated spot in the yard. We put in with him his leash, ball, and can of beer.
He now resides in an attractive garden with a couple of upright granite boulders (tombstones) surrounded by numerous flowers.
Oh my Lord. I’m so sorry for you all!
It’s one of my greatest fears, having to make the decision to put down a pet, even when I know it’s the right thing to do.
I am so sorry to hear about the pup.
He looks just like my dog. My daschund lived to a ripe 16, but was put down for health reasons as well. Reading your story readies me for another one, possibly, sooner than I thought.