Now tell me. What would possess a middle-aged man driving a Subaru Outback to flip off a mother driving her son to daycare? So maybe I pulled out in front of this guy – but there were about five cars behind him, and it was my only chance to slide into traffic.
So much vulgarity and anger, all because I pulled out in front of him. I saw him flip me off in my rear view mirror. Amused by his anger, I did him one better – I waved back. Not a general howdy-do wave, but I sweet little Southern belle wave. The kind that grandmas give to their grandkids as they leave after a long visit.
My wave tells him that no, I am not an anonymous person that you can violate with your vulgar hand gestures. I am a person – someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, someone’s mother – and your obscene hand gestures are an insult. For all you know, I could be on my way to chemo or my husband’s funeral. Or maybe I was just late for work, since untitledson was being a dillhole and wouldn’t let me help him with his shoes.
Dude, you should be ashamed. You don’t know me. And you don’t know what I’m going through. For your information, I am having a bad hair day. That right there is enough. But there’s also a tumor zit growing in my ear that shoots radiating pain throughout my cranium every time I touch it (which is about 27 times a day, if you include the times I poke it with my pen). And to top it off, the only underwear clean this morning were the ones that don’t hold me in. This is no day to mess with Texas, my friend. If you’re so antsy to demonstrate your knowledge of American Sign Language, take that raggedy-ass finger of yours and stick it up your rear.
I was about to comment on how your acknowledging his insult probably wasn’t going to mean a hill of beans to him, since that was his aim.
But now I can’t stop laughing at you calling untitledson a “dillhole”.
i like to do the southern belle wave as well. in memphis you are lucky if you make it a block without some jerk flipping the finger at you. what is wrong with people??
I saw a guy do that the other day: the wave, big smile and general making the jerk feel like a …jerk. Well done! …and? What, exactly, is a dillhole?
Don’t remember how I came across your blog, but love it! Your warm, slightly self-effacing, humorous style is the intellectual equivalent of a steaming large cappuccino on a rainy Chicago morning. Hope you keep at it.
Woman with kids: I do believe “dillhole” is what one says in place of “dickhole” in order to not seem so offensive. Like that has ever stopped me before. I don’t think I can call my three year-old a dickhole and still expect a card on Mother’s Day. But dillhole — there’s some wiggle room there.
O18 - thanks for the ups. In all seriousness, the encouragement means a lot.
Should have blown him a kiss and fluffed your hair.
I’ve taken it a step further once.
Guy -who THINKS I cut him off- reaches me at traffic light and stops next to me, starts ranting “how chicks can’t drive” and giving me the greek rendition of the middle finger (called a mooja). I smiled at him calmly, “Well! HI THERE! Don’t you remember me?”
He immediately shut up. You could almost hear the “gulp” sound in his throat.
I continued, “How IS everyone? Please say hello to them for me… oh, there’s the green. Bye now!”
Looking back at him from my rear view mirror. He had been so surprised that he hadn’t noticed the traffic lights changing and the drivers behind him were honking and yelling at HIM.
I would have made my high school drama teacher proud of me.
Living in NJ, Land of Courteous Drivers, my children have learned that when Mom does the “oops…didn’t mean to cut you off”, “hey, thanks for not letting me in” or “are you f’ing kidding me” wave, they also wave like hell, throw kisses and generally make the person wonder what kind of crack we’re all on. This all occurs after I’ve cursed like a drunken sailor and told them not to repeat any of it.
I love the belle wave, the one that says: I don’t understand your gesture, but thanks, everyone likes me.