Comments on: Losing her religion.

By: rose

rose — Sat, 12 Aug 2006 03:29:45 +0000

untitled, you already know how I feel on the mom situation, but please keep it coming. it helps you AND it helps others to know they’re not alone and that it’s okay to not want to buy a mother’s day card. i have tried to rationalize my mother’s “poor me, i did the best i could and it’s everyone else’s fault that i have been and continue to be a miserable human being” behavior for years and have finally come to the conclusion that she is who she is and that my children (and i) are not missing out by having her not involved in our lives…she’s missing out on us!

By: amy j.

amy j. — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 17:57:56 +0000

Your mom and MY mom could be TWINS. I read your words and could soooo write it myself. But I have family who knows I have a blog, unfortnately. Instead I just say it to my husband.

My mom had a heart attack a few years back…a mild one that really didn’t do a lot of damage. She claims she died (she did code twice, but didn’t DIE). Every since she’s been screwy in the head. She quite her job of 20 years with no retirement or savings and has sat on her ass for seven years nearly doing nothing but wearing her nightgown and rubbing her feet together. SHe gained a tremendous amount of weight, of which she didn’t try ONE time to lose and then came to me not too long ago to tell me she was having gastric bypass surgery. She’s certifiable really. Besides not giving a shit about her life, she asks us for money constantly (husband’s a doctor so we must have the extra for her) and relies on my sister and anyone else within arms reach to do everything for her. I know how you feel, truly I do. It’s a shame. My best friend has the same situation with her mom. OUr conclusion is this..that when you hit your 30s and have children you suddenly don’t see your parents in the rose colored vision you had before, when you were just their child. Marriage helps lower the tint on the glasses a little bit…but it’s having a child that really shatters them. All the CRAP your parents did to you becomes obvious when you find that you could NEVER do that to your kids. At least that’s what I feel and see with my mom. She’s made so many bad choices in her life, the negatively affected me. Now that I have two daughters I, for the life of me, don’t see how she could do that as a mother. Where I once felt guilt, induced by her, and pity for her I now see RED. Rose has become a blood tinged color of RED. I’m angry over alot of things she did as my mother, and have a right to be. I’ve concluded I raised myself because she and I have very little in common in terms of how we view or live our lives. I for one have been with the same man for 16 years. She was already on her third marriage to a sorry ass drunk by this time.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you’renot the only 30 something woman out there discovering that a piece of crap their mother can be. We should start a club!

By: Jeanne

Jeanne — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 22:25:15 +0000

You’re going to be okay untitled. You’ve got that brilliantly level head on your shoulders and you’ll make peace and start to focus all that energy on yourself or something else. It’s all good. Just please, please, please…keep those posts coming!
P.S. My husband and I were on vacation in Birmingham last week and we almost crashed into the guy in front of us because he was sporting the ball sack thingy AND a pissing kid sticker. It was so much to take in - the balls were HUGE! I kept thanking the Gods that my kids weren’t with us. I took a pic and will share it with you as soon as I get off my lazy ass and hook the camera to the laptop - cause that’s SO much work!

By: notaclue

notaclue — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 13:27:35 +0000

Mebbe the bitterness is becuz she’s mean & nasty to you. She EARNED it. But don’t worry about it because you’re awesome and she’s just a little blip (blob) on the screen.

Plus, if you completely let it go, then we don’t get to read your incredible posts. Vent, baby, vent! See, it IS productive!!!

By: Patty

Patty — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 18:07:01 +0000

You make me laugh. I feel sorry for your mom as it’s sounds like she’s not really living life just getting by. Can’t really be happy like that I don’t think. Yes, see you have issues with her. I know that I am lucky that I have a normal mom (whatever that really means) and she goes out and travels and does so much that she’s like a teenager and dresses young too. It’s scary the other way when your mom is little and fit and fun and way better than the daughters. ha ha. But you can’t change your mom, she has to want to. We can only change ourselves. Believe me I’ve tried to change the hubby but he had to do it for himself.

By: untitled

untitled — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 16:27:44 +0000

I’m trying to work on my bittenerness in regards to untitledmother. I need to let it go already. I don’t know why she irritates me so. And yes, I realize how non-productive it is to dwell on her shortcomings. She just pisses me off so much, I cannot help it. There I go, getting worked up again. God DAMN!

By: notaclue

notaclue — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 16:27:11 +0000

Nah, she prolly keeps the KY to appear as if she at least has something interesting in her life. Beating around the bush would be too much work.

Sounds less like a depressive than self delusional pampered ‘princess’. I imagine that nothing is ever ‘enough’ for her. I also imagine that ‘everybody is always soooooo mean’ to her also, yes?

By: witchy

witchy — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 12:46:34 +0000

So, alluding to the KY jelly, you forgot to include masturbate in her day. It’s something nice you can do for yourself, if only you keep your nails trimmed properly.

By: V-Grrrl

V-Grrrl — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 09:28:12 +0000

She sounds depressed and/or lonely.

Then again, maybe she’s happier than the rest of us navel-gazing bloggers.

By: Suebob

Suebob — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 04:20:09 +0000

Untitled Mother sounds like a piece of work. But to be all Dr. Phil about it - what is this bitterness about her doing for you?