Comments on: Reunited and it feels so good. http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/ One girl's struggle to escape her fat pants. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:56:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Nina http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5507 Nina Fri, 14 Jul 2006 00:47:51 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5507 I also have this brother, but with him, there was a happy ending to the story, unlike a lot of the other slacker-bro stories. My brother was traditionally always the one in trouble, broke, jobless, even went so far as to snatch a purse once when he was broke and ended up in prison. Mom and sis wrote him all 6 years he was in the joint, visited him, sent him $$$. When he got out, you guessed it, mom and sis paid for everything to get him on his feet, then the dumbass goes and gets a DUI. Sis (me) by then is done with it, so mom bails him out and pays his legal fees, etc. Then he gets married to a wonderful woman and turns his life around -- gets a steady, well-paying job and advances in the company, is a great father to his two step-kids who think of him more as "Dad" than their real dad. He really did a 180. I can't say what finally made him step up aside from meeting a really awesome woman who was worth becoming a man for. I also have this brother, but with him, there was a happy ending to the story, unlike a lot of the other slacker-bro stories. My brother was traditionally always the one in trouble, broke, jobless, even went so far as to snatch a purse once when he was broke and ended up in prison. Mom and sis wrote him all 6 years he was in the joint, visited him, sent him $$$. When he got out, you guessed it, mom and sis paid for everything to get him on his feet, then the dumbass goes and gets a DUI. Sis (me) by then is done with it, so mom bails him out and pays his legal fees, etc. Then he gets married to a wonderful woman and turns his life around — gets a steady, well-paying job and advances in the company, is a great father to his two step-kids who think of him more as “Dad” than their real dad. He really did a 180. I can’t say what finally made him step up aside from meeting a really awesome woman who was worth becoming a man for.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5433 Lisa Wed, 12 Jul 2006 16:39:13 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5433 Hmmm, that's an interesting link he's made there. Wonder if that works for other health issues as well? Could I get drunk every night to control that pesky thyroid imbalance? Get drunk every night to help with painful arthritis? How about get drunk every night to lose 50 pounds? Egads, some people. Hmmm, that’s an interesting link he’s made there. Wonder if that works for other health issues as well? Could I get drunk every night to control that pesky thyroid imbalance? Get drunk every night to help with painful arthritis? How about get drunk every night to lose 50 pounds?

Egads, some people.

]]> By: Anne Arky http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5432 Anne Arky Wed, 12 Jul 2006 11:32:02 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5432 Lisa, you're right -- some families have two of them. We do -- the afore-mentioned brother and Cousin Sluggy (no relation to Uncle Sleazy on the other side of the family). Cuzzin Sluggy has been leaching off his widowed mother since 1986 (his step-father had been able to prevent it before his death, but once he died, it became open season on Mama). This, AFTER Mama had bailed him out of prison and five marriages. Sadly, none of his five ex-wives was a decent shot, so now, at age 66, he is still leaching off Mama and he gets drunk every night to keep his cholesterol down. (No, I am not kidding -- I swear that's his excuse!) Anne Lisa, you’re right — some families have two of them. We do — the afore-mentioned brother and Cousin Sluggy (no relation to Uncle Sleazy on the other side of the family). Cuzzin Sluggy has been leaching off his widowed mother since 1986 (his step-father had been able to prevent it before his death, but once he died, it became open season on Mama). This, AFTER Mama had bailed him out of prison and five marriages. Sadly, none of his five ex-wives was a decent shot, so now, at age 66, he is still leaching off Mama and he gets drunk every night to keep his cholesterol down. (No, I am not kidding — I swear that’s his excuse!)

Anne

]]> By: V-Grrrl http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5395 V-Grrrl Tue, 11 Jul 2006 12:35:07 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5395 All I can say is that this scenario is very familiar (ahem)--and your colorful description is awesome. You can't do a damn thing about it except ask lots of questions to his parents face. Keep them on their toes, constantly being confronted with the realities of their situation. Ask the questions innocently, with no visible resentment and anger and don't argue with their answers, though you might say something like "That's interesting but it sure doesn't make sense." These are the types of questions I mean: Why is this apartment so filthy? Is there a reason he didn't clean it MIL? Will the landlord charge him damages? He should, you know? Gosh, I hope he doesn't leave your place in this condition. You all have worked hard for your home. Has Deadbeat applied for any jobs lately? Are you sure? So nice that Deadbeat is home with you now--I'm sure he's a big help. Is he vacuuming for you Untitled MIL? Is he mowing the grass? Is he helping Untitled FIL replace the deck on the house? You guys deserve a break, you work so hard. Does Deadbeat loan you his car? We worry about you in that old pickup. You deserve better.... All I can say is that this scenario is very familiar (ahem)–and your colorful description is awesome.

You can’t do a damn thing about it except ask lots of questions to his parents face. Keep them on their toes, constantly being confronted with the realities of their situation.

Ask the questions innocently, with no visible resentment and anger and don’t argue with their answers, though you might say something like “That’s interesting but it sure doesn’t make sense.”

These are the types of questions I mean:
Why is this apartment so filthy? Is there a reason he didn’t clean it MIL? Will the landlord charge him damages? He should, you know? Gosh, I hope he doesn’t leave your place in this condition. You all have worked hard for your home.

Has Deadbeat applied for any jobs lately? Are you sure?

So nice that Deadbeat is home with you now–I’m sure he’s a big help. Is he vacuuming for you Untitled MIL? Is he mowing the grass? Is he helping Untitled FIL replace the deck on the house? You guys deserve a break, you work so hard.

Does Deadbeat loan you his car? We worry about you in that old pickup. You deserve better….

]]> By: Lisa http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5392 Lisa Tue, 11 Jul 2006 11:52:31 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5392 It sucks to deal with a family member like this (and yes, I think we all have at least one. I may have 2.) As long as his parents are under the spell you can't say anything. Trying to open their eyes will do nothing but turn you into "the one who is against their poor baby, who has enough bad luck as it is." Just steer clear and wait. It will happen. Oh, and watch him like a hawk around your son. It sucks to deal with a family member like this (and yes, I think we all have at least one. I may have 2.)

As long as his parents are under the spell you can’t say anything. Trying to open their eyes will do nothing but turn you into “the one who is against their poor baby, who has enough bad luck as it is.”

Just steer clear and wait. It will happen. Oh, and watch him like a hawk around your son.

]]> By: Piglet http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5374 Piglet Tue, 11 Jul 2006 04:55:02 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5374 Gosh, I've heard this story so. many. times. (not from you-but many others). In fact, my Mother had a younger brother is was very similar. He used to leave the parents notes stuck in the wall by a knife. The notes would say stuff like, "I just might kill you when I get back." The parents never changed one bit. That Crazy Unc of mine ended up getting sober and somehow got his shit together. Unfortunately, a lot of these people end up dead. Gosh, I’ve heard this story so. many. times. (not from you-but many others).

In fact, my Mother had a younger brother is was very similar. He used to leave the parents notes stuck in the wall by a knife. The notes would say stuff like, “I just might kill you when I get back.”

The parents never changed one bit. That Crazy Unc of mine ended up getting sober and somehow got his shit together. Unfortunately, a lot of these people end up dead.

]]> By: Jeanne http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5344 Jeanne Mon, 10 Jul 2006 17:52:46 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5344 There is nothing anyone can do in this situation; except the parents. And sadly, the parents are blinded by their love for the child. OR they are afraid he'll blow off their faces with a shotgun while they are watching TV. There is nothing anyone can do in this situation; except the parents. And sadly, the parents are blinded by their love for the child. OR they are afraid he’ll blow off their faces with a shotgun while they are watching TV.

]]> By: wonderwoman http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5337 wonderwoman Mon, 10 Jul 2006 14:45:36 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5337 We all have that brother…is it one guy roaming around to all our families or are there an army of them out there–God help us! I think you need to show mommy all the facts about junior in a letter but changing his name to Jim Bob, that of a fictional character. once she sees what a waste of space Jim Bob is, tell her to insert junior’s name. May wake her up. Bet Mom doesnt want to see it because it would make her feel like she did “something wrong” and somehow it is her fault…that old guilt trip thing. In the case of my brother, I knew it was over for him when my kids stated noticing uncle bob didnt do things the way we did…hmmm. We all have that brother…is it one guy roaming around to all our families or are there an army of them out there–God help us! I think you need to show mommy all the facts about junior in a letter but changing his name to Jim Bob, that of a fictional character. once she sees what a waste of space Jim Bob is, tell her to insert junior’s name. May wake her up. Bet Mom doesnt want to see it because it would make her feel like she did “something wrong” and somehow it is her fault…that old guilt trip thing. In the case of my brother, I knew it was over for him when my kids stated noticing uncle bob didnt do things the way we did…hmmm.

]]> By: wonderwoman http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5336 wonderwoman Mon, 10 Jul 2006 14:45:03 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5336 We all have that brother...is it one guy roaming around to all our families or are there an army of them out there--God help us! I think you need to show mommy all the facts about junior in a letter but changing his name to Jim Bob, that of a fictional character. once she sees what a waste of space Jim Bob is, tell her to insert junior's name. May wake her up. Bet Mom doesnt want to see it because it would make her feel like she did "something wrong" and somehow it is her fault...that old guilt trip thing. In the case of my brother, I knew it was over for him when my kids stated noticing uncle bob didnt do things the way we did...hmmm. We all have that brother…is it one guy roaming around to all our families or are there an army of them out there–God help us! I think you need to show mommy all the facts about junior in a letter but changing his name to Jim Bob, that of a fictional character. once she sees what a waste of space Jim Bob is, tell her to insert junior’s name. May wake her up. Bet Mom doesnt want to see it because it would make her feel like she did “something wrong” and somehow it is her fault…that old guilt trip thing. In the case of my brother, I knew it was over for him when my kids stated noticing uncle bob didnt do things the way we did…hmmm.

]]> By: Anne Arky http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5335 Anne Arky Mon, 10 Jul 2006 14:04:14 +0000 http://www.untitledlife.com/2006/07/10/reunited-and-it-feels-so-good/#comment-5335 I have this brother, also, and the only way that Mother and Dad got out of supporting him was that he found a woman who was so desparate to get away from her husband that she voluntarily took him (my brother) on and happily supports him. I told my brother once that the only reason she and her daughters think he is so wonderful is because her first husband was such a shit that he makes my brother look good. If she ever figures out that she really CAN live without a man, he will be toasted history. He is 53 years old, and Mother is so proud of him and all that he does. He is SUCH a man -- he pays his own cable bill every month! Aren't you wowed and impressed? (I for one am not.) What is so funny (not) is his dictatorial manner in which he demands things be done this way and that way in HIS house -- the house his wife is paying for. Also, the car he demanded they buy him so he could drive around the one-traffic-light town he lived in was later SOLD to his step-daughter. Did he send Mother and Daddy that money? Guess! About ten years after Mother and Daddy stopped supporting him (he was in his 40s at the time), they needed all us kids to cosign a loan against a house that Daddy owned but that we kids would inherit (so we HAD to sign for them), and my brother demanded a full accounting of why she needed it. I think Mother's eyes are open now. I have this brother, also, and the only way that Mother and Dad got out of supporting him was that he found a woman who was so desparate to get away from her husband that she voluntarily took him (my brother) on and happily supports him. I told my brother once that the only reason she and her daughters think he is so wonderful is because her first husband was such a shit that he makes my brother look good. If she ever figures out that she really CAN live without a man, he will be toasted history. He is 53 years old, and Mother is so proud of him and all that he does. He is SUCH a man — he pays his own cable bill every month! Aren’t you wowed and impressed? (I for one am not.) What is so funny (not) is his dictatorial manner in which he demands things be done this way and that way in HIS house — the house his wife is paying for. Also, the car he demanded they buy him so he could drive around the one-traffic-light town he lived in was later SOLD to his step-daughter. Did he send Mother and Daddy that money? Guess!
About ten years after Mother and Daddy stopped supporting him (he was in his 40s at the time), they needed all us kids to cosign a loan against a house that Daddy owned but that we kids would inherit (so we HAD to sign for them), and my brother demanded a full accounting of why she needed it. I think Mother’s eyes are open now.

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