Most of you probably saw the fireworks last night. But in our house, they didn’t start until this morning. We made the mistake of keeping up untitledson until 11ish so he could see a ragtag band of three-fingered men disrupt the migratory paths of endangered birds whilst julienne-ing (put down the dictionary, Webster) every ear drum within a five-mile radius.
The thought did cross my mind – these fireworks, they are the same damn thing every year, no? Why do we insist on seeing them over and over again? I might as well sit through that tired Bon Jovi/Cinderella concert I went to when I was 14 every year for the rest of my life. If I’m going to spend two hours with my ass squeezed in a folding chair, those fireworks better cook my eggs and highlight my hair.
When we all woke up this morning, untitledson was a bona fide bearcat. Never before have I seen a mood so foul. “I don’t WANT to watch Doodlebops!” “I don’t WANT to get dressed!” “I don’t WANT to see my fourth birthday!”
I dropped him off at daycare and neatly laid out his sippy of milk, banana and cereal bar. A more thoughtful mommy would’ve placed two Xanax and a shot of whiskey on a napkin for his teacher. I guess this means the little pussy won’t be any fun when I strap him to my hog and take him to Sturgis.
My kids didn’t see fireworks until they were in elementary school for the very reasons you mentioned–I didn’t want to deal with their celebration hangover AND I knew they’d have their whole lives to watch fireworks–why rush? Not to mention, the noise freaked them out, even when they were much older.
Thank God for daycare–at least you didn’t have to wrestle the bearcat fulltime!
On behalf of your readership, I say this.
You can’t just drop ‘the Bon Jovi/ Cinderella concert’ on us then walk away, chica.
That’s just not right.
This year was the first in my life that I didn’t go to fireworks. I thought I would be feeling so empty and lost the next day. Like remember how in Pretty In Pink, Annie Potts is talking about how missing the prom gives you this feeling all your life like something is wrong? None of that happened. I know I didn’t miss anything unusual. I know I sure as heyall didn’t miss all the crowds and trying to park and mosquito bites and obnoxious people crowding my personal dance space and I actually woke up the next day having had more sleep to kill off the gigantic beer buzz of the day.