Comments on: Natural selection.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 18:13:53 +0000

I have found a very sneaky way to poo at work. I have to get to work before everyone else (key holder), unlock the front doors and I work on the first floor. I go up to the 3rd floor and poo in the MEN’s single bathroom. Then I come back down to the first floor and my little office. Then as soon as someone comes in, within 20 minutes, I go pee in the women’s bathroom so that they think it is my first ‘go round” of the day.
I know this sounds absolutely insane, but there are more men than women on the 3rd floor and typically this one group of men is the first to arrive (about 20 minutes after I unlock the doors). They would never suspect it is me pooping on their floor, it just wouldn’t make sense. They probably assume it is the cleaning crew or maintenance workers.
A couple co-workers have asked if I poo at work. I say “Of course!” Then I say “I just courtesy flush for you gals!”

By: cardboardy

cardboardy — Sat, 27 May 2006 01:23:30 +0000

It occurs to me now that I have a unique technique to share.
My solution to the crisis of the unavoidable public dump is timing. I have two strategies.
The first is a simple, well timed coughing fit.
I sit straight, I load up, aim and fire, and at the moment when the torpedo lands in the bowl, I make like I’m choking on my own tongue.
The second strategy is timing my load with someone else’s flush. This takes practice and concentration, but perfect for your more explosive ordinance.
Also, I just have to express how enraged I become when I’m in my cubicle, crossing my sphincter, waiting for my moment… and in strolls someone else who, without pause, just dumps, wipes, flushes, washes and departs. This behaviour does not liberate me, or inspire me. It just makes me constipated.

By: witchy

witchy — Fri, 26 May 2006 11:45:24 +0000

Oh, the poop revelations, how I adore them!
My theory about the library making one want to poop-why it is a huge extension of the porcelain library at home. Bookstores have the same effect on me.
I just order my books online from the library and get the heck out of there.
Once I broke the pooping in public places taboo (once in a library, but I was sick, and caught short, and once right before I went into labour) it became slightly more do-able.
Then I devised an ingenious method of removing my shoes when they might be recognized.
If anyone comes in while I am washing my hands, I roll my eyes and go “ewww” as if this miasma of poo essence could not possibly have come from me.
They don’t have proof without the shoes
Baby wipes are awesome, you can clean the seat with the first one and clean your butt with the other.
I have long been using baby wipes to clean the toilet and sink on a per visit basis since I am allergic to most household chemicals. I also clean my monitor with them, but that is another story.

By: Daily Piglet

Daily Piglet — Fri, 26 May 2006 05:16:27 +0000

I used to be like that but have gotten much, much better. It truly is a shame that we have this embedded into our brains and will suffer the pain in order to not disturb others with a bowel movement.

Courtesy flushing helps with odor and to create a louder noise than farting while pooping.

I used to fear public restrooms terribly as a child. For whatever reason, I just knew someone was going to walk in and murder me. Boy, I’m glad I got over that one.

By: laura

laura — Thu, 25 May 2006 03:17:24 +0000

there’s something about work and libraries that just *make* me have to go. if someone’s already in the bathroom at work, i just walk right back out….and wait. and wait. and try again.

library? big fan of the third floor nobody knows about.

vacation? i can’t force my body to do it while i’m traveling. it just doesn’t happen.

that being said, i’m a big fan of the first stall - in and out as quickly as possible.

By: rose

rose — Tue, 23 May 2006 21:14:40 +0000

I feel like I’ve come home! Nobody else is as freaky as we are about this; you do realize that, right?

I went to Disney World for a week. I didn’t say I went “at” Disney World. For a week. And then when I returned home, it was like my body forgot how. Ugly recovery that one.

I can’t even go in airports, which are the most impersonal places to go on earth.

And to wrap up on a really personal note…do you all remember the first time after your baby was born?!? I could sweat just thinking about that .

By: Deemack5

Deemack5 — Tue, 23 May 2006 17:02:11 +0000

“I have taken the elevator to another floor to avoid pooping in the pressence of anybody who would recognize my shoes” I think that is the funniest thing I have read in some time. I am a guy, and have travelled all over the world and can still count on one hand the toilets other than my own which I have used. I have commanded my bowels to do some sweful thing in hope of reaching one of my “special” places. I like the stalls in asian airports… they are completely sealed from the rest of the facility and almost like a little apartment away from home….

By: Jeanne

Jeanne — Tue, 23 May 2006 15:27:36 +0000

I think untitled should look into the pooping habits of women. Seems like some interesting actions are being taken. I am also a multiple flusher. Also, I use baby wipes - haven’t used toilet paper for years. Toilet paper is SO yesterday! Nothing like knowing your ass is spanking clean. FYI: I have found that Costco’s Kirkland brand wipes are, by far, superior to any other brand out there. They are thin enough to flush (ONLY 2 at a time though) without causing plumbing problems.
TMI?

By: Miss Jean

Miss Jean — Tue, 23 May 2006 14:53:45 +0000

I have taken the elevator to another floor to avoid pooping in the pressence of anybody who would recognize my shoes.

I get “traveler’s constipation”. Not so much from not wanting to poop away from home, but not getting to do it at the time I ALWAYS do it at home.

I flush twice so’s not to leave a trace.

By: Woman with Kids

Woman with Kids — Tue, 23 May 2006 11:59:15 +0000

We have the same issue at my work. And though it’s the most popular one, I choose the one at the end. It may get the most assage, but it’s usually farthest away from any other… occupants.

I have IBS, so sadly, I have pooped at most fast food restuarants, grocery stores and public restrooms between here and there…