untitledeye: flower power.

Flower Power 1

 At what point did fake flowers quit imitating real flowers? Now, they’ve taken on a whole new purpose, allowing the crafty to place flowers where no real flowers could or would ever go.Â

Flower Power 2

As I snapped these photos, I saw the husband tinkering around in the garage. I would’ve loved to hear the conversation leading up to this home improvement project. “I have this idea… of staple-gunning fake flowers over the front of our house and on our garden bench. Then we’ll get these vases and make these huge outdoor floral arrangements, so we can have outdoor blooms when it’s only 30 degrees outside!”

 Flower Power 3

Poor guy. If we zoom in here, I’m sure we’ll see his deflated ballsack dangling from one of those swags. An untrained eye might mistake it for a wilting pansy.

16 thoughts on “untitledeye: flower power.”

  1. So, you don’t have flowers sprouting out everywhere? Good lord, its spring….I’ve even got ’em blooming out of my ass…..

  2. If it’s 30 degrees, embrace the fake flowers! Be glad they’re not the giant ones that spin in the wind.

    My issue here is with the bunny chorus line. Looks like they’ve got sticks up their tails and are flagging down help.

  3. I have a neighbor who keeps fake flowers out year-round. She changes them with the seasons. So right now she has glitter-spangled poinsettas in her planters. She also mows at 10 p.m., has flood lights trained on our bedroom windows, and assaulted me with a leaf blower one day when I asked her to stop blowing leaves from her yard into mine. And then she called the police on me. I guess my point is, people who decorate the outsides of their homes with fake flowers are psycho, so keep your distance.

  4. Yes … it’s very strange indeed! Is this some sort of American custom? I’m from Australia and haven’t seen “decorations” of this kind.

  5. You should get them a couple of the fake children cutouts, the ones where they’re mooning people, and the cats that climb the walls… Just sneak over there one night, and plant an entire still life scene on their house.

  6. I’m thinkin’ that wifey thinks she’s in some Disney type story book…., d’ya suppose she fantasized that pretty little bluebirds floated them up there all the while she was twirling and singing some treacly pap?

    I loved the deflated ballsack! More a sign of a deflated pussy than pansy…, on the other hand mebbe that’s the only way he can get ‘any’.

    ‘Course as the above post mentioned, she might be one of the psycho ones and humoring her is the only way to get her to “PUT THE KNIFE DOWN…..,”

  7. Are you in Illinois? I swear this could be down the street from my sister’s house in Crest Hill. You can reply at my email…I’m dying to know!

  8. I saw some daffodils this morning. They made me smile.

    I despise fake flowers, especially like that. Could also be any house in the good old M of O (Missouri, CoMo to be exact).

    (CoMo is fun way of writing Columbia, MO. Oh yeah, I said it.)

  9. My 93 year old Grammie does the fake flower outside thing, and it isn’t because she is lazy. She chops her own wood for Pete’s sake.
    I think this woman is preparing her house for an Easter wedding.
    Yeah, that’s it…Wonder how many times in a day she refills her coffee pot?

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