Crypt Keeper gives birth.

A 62-year old great-grandmother from California named Janise Wulf has just given birth — that’s right, birth — to her 12th child.

I wonder how hard it was to find a fertility doctor who saw no ethical problem with a women being able to collect Medicare and the child tax credit at the same time. She says that she wanted this child so that her 3-year old would have a sibling, which, I must say, isn’t a bad idea. That poor child can’t possibly tune up mommy’s Rascal and mix her Metamucil all on his own.

As you can see in this photo, she’s got that crazy I-got-more-children-than-fingers hairdo going on, much like Mrs. Duggar. I can only imagine what she was about to say when photogs snapped this photo.

Crypt Keeper/Great Grandmother/Grandmother/Mother

“Ooooh! Tooth Fairy gonna be broke! Baby be cuttin’ teeth… and I be losin’ them.”

“We’re only having one in diapers in this household, which means we best commence with potty-training right about now.”

“At least I won’t have to go out and buy more bibs.”

So yes, lady, congratufuckinglations. You proved it could be done. Too bad you didn’t give any thought to the fact that more than likely, you will be dead before this child can drive.

21 thoughts on “Crypt Keeper gives birth.”

  1. So was the baby fully matured? Born with a full beard and a neck tie on? It begs the simple question… Why? Oh, and might I add, EWWWWW!

  2. Okay. All I did was read the title. And I laughed. I saw this at the gym while I was running, and it was on the TV, and I nearly fell off because who wants to see all of that at 8 am while your heart rate is at 175.

    I’m afriad to read the rest of the post [but I will] because I know it may make me laugh too hard.

  3. Men do this all the time and the culture says, “Woo ee! Ain’t he somethin! Mr. Virility with the young, sweet wife!” And yet we’re horrified when an older woman gives birth….Not that I’m defending either sex bringing children into the world that it’s unlikely they’ll be able to fully support and care for until adulthood, but it strikes me as so weird that women are condemned for it and men congratualted.

    Who is the father of the Crypt Woman’s youngin? Ashton Kutcher? : )

  4. I’ve been looking at that picture for quite some time now and all I can say is….
    Who in the HELL is giving it to this lady? No…wait…don’t answer that…I don’t want to see the person responsible…if SHE looks like this…imagine what HE looks like!! No, don’t. Oh God, now I feel sick.

  5. For the record, I also have a problem with old men who have kids. Well, not THEM having kids — you know what I mean. It all comes down to what is best for the child. A friend of mine went through this — mom died when friend was 16, and dad died when friend was 18.

  6. Wow-I saw the husband on TV yesterday–he is in his 30’s or 40’s and looked kinda bizarre too. THe reporter said the “new mom” is legally blind too. WTF! Hubby and I tried for years, struggling with infertility and this wacko finds a fertility guy that was willing to impregnate her? What is wrong with this picture??!!

  7. All ego and no brain…you love your little babies so much you want them to have a dead mommy by age 20…that’s real thoughtful.

  8. I hate to say this, but I’m 60 and still haven’t hit menopause. Scarily enough, that’s when you get crazy fertile, too. I, however, have no intentions of giving birth in my seventh decade. Na-ah.

  9. jesushchrist would you please put up a new post so i don’t have to be accosted by that image every time i check your blog? i think i’m speaking for all of us here.

  10. And to think I was going to post another photo of the mother bottlefeeding the baby. Yes, I do plan on posting something different later today (like after work). Got a little busy last night. I apologize for any undue trauma.

  11. hm. you know what i’m gonna say, right? many people aren’t photogenic. she could be pretty darned healthy. i’ve known men and women in their 60s and 70s who were thin, running marathons, lifting more than the average 30-year old, having plenty of sex, with all their original teeth and hair. and i’ve known men and women who lived until their 90s. the average 62-yo is more likely than not going to be dead before her newborn child hits college, but maybe that’s not true of her. maybe her docs said she had a 50/50 chance of another 20 years. and is that even relevant? if yes, then . . . i’ve been told i have a 2/3 chance of cancer before i’m 50. should that mean i shouldn’t have had a child last year? (i’m in my 30s.) was that wrong? maybe we should screen people for genetic predisposition to early death and actually ban them from having kids. let her have her child, and feed it, and clothe it, and love it. that child may have both living parents healthy in 20 years, while mine has no mother. plus, assuming that people over the age of [30/40/50/60] are gross (in diapers, losing teeth, etc) is so depressing. do you really think that? really? you’ll be there sooner than you think.

  12. e: it’s awesome you’re brining another point of view into the discussion. although I couldn’t disagree more.

    you bring up several issues that could be responded to, but, i’m going to stick with the topic at hand. the bottom line, in my opin., is this: someone who has had 12 children in her lifetime is simply being selfish and gluttonous to even try to have another child at 62. i don’t know the exact stats, but the risk for birth defects/problems during pregnancy start to increase in a woman’s late 30s. i can only imagine what they are at 62.

    this woman had 12 CHILDREN! if her 3 year-old needed company, buy him a friggin’ dog.

    as far as the pot-shots at her teeth, diapers, etc (i’m speaking for untitled here) this site isn’t afraid to be non-PC for the sake of humor.

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