untitleddog has decided to repay us for his 12-day stint in the doggie clink by coming down with a case of the scoots. I looked on from the sliders this morning as liquid nasty rained out his bunghole like a Waterpik. He was looking back at me the whole time as if saying “what is this radioactive substance dripping out of my pinkie?”
But don’t feel sorry for him, people. He has orchestrated this whole diarrhea thing to put him in the ultimate power position. Now, we have to follow him around the house, looking for even the slightest sign of tail jacking, lest he drop the soft serve like it’s hot. The vet said he probably contracted this infection from another dog while at the kennel. Little fucker probably let one of his infected cell mates sniff his deflated ballsack in exchange for the germs. I can just imagine him collecting his specimens now, using a long q-tip and a petrie dish. But more than likely, he just used his tongue. Come give momma a kiss!
I will never, ever look at my Waterpik the same way again. Ever.
I AM SOOOOO GLAD YOU’RE BACK!
‘Scuse me for shouting but it’s been a damn long time since I laughed like a loon outloud! I didn’t realize how bland and winterized my life had become til you woke up my languishing laugh buds!
Notaclue son loved it too.
Welcome home!!
Welcome back! Slash your dog is quite vengeful. Spiteful animal.
You make me never, ever want to own a dog again. And I like dogs…
um. gross.
But, funny!
can’t even spell my own screen name.
As I read this at work, I had all I could do not to stifle the gut-busting laughter going on in my cubicle. You have a gift with words. I’ve experienced this situation before with my own dogs and I didn’t find it the least bit funny at the time. But, between the caption and the picture…..funny as hell.