Diagnosis murder.

untitledhusband’s youngest brother is a sociopath. At least, that’s what we have surmised, based on our random observations over the past 21 or so years. Since we’re the only ones in the family to recognize the signs, it is starting to create some conflict for us. Should we bring this up at the next family gathering? Should we leave a copy of “So Your Son is a Sociopath” in untitledmother-in-law’s mailbox?

Perhaps I need to give you a little background. Break out your mail-order PhD’s and start the clock, people. The session has begun.

When untitledbrother-in-law was four, he started the family home on fire not once, but twice. Don’t even ask how a four-year old got a hold of matches, cause I don’t know. At the age of 12, he damn near beat our cat to death with his bare hands. We came home to find the poor cat panting, and his eyes were dilated – both signs of extreme physical trauma. On another occasion, he was caught beating a tied-up dog with a broom. No injuries there, thank god – just a rightfully pissed-off dog. And at age 16, while caring for the neighbor’s dog, the animal mysteriously died. OK, now if this were your kid, wouldn’t you find it odd that most animals in your child’s presence are either injured or dead? Would you not be sleeping with a crucifix and a tazer gun, you know, just in case?

After achieving his goal of not only maiming, but killing, another living being, he made the jump from animals to humans. At the age of 20, when he was babysitting his one year-old cousin, the walker she was in spontaneously broke into a zillion little pieces. He told everyone that he was playing a game with her, and that the walker bumped into the wall and shattered. The child was not visibly injured. We were like, “OH. MY. GOD.” Everyone else was like, “Oh those cheap walkers. We’ll have to get her a new one.”

This history, coupled with the fact that he has no emotion – no ups, no downs – has led us to our diagnosis. Surprisingly, no one else in the family sees what we see. I once read that one in 10 people is a sociopath.

As for right now, untitledbrother-in-law is a 21-year old college drop-out. The only bloodshed that we are currently aware of results from his habit of routinely bleeding his parents dry. Perhaps if he would’ve stayed in school, he would’ve learned that if you’re going to make a career out of extorting money from people, you should choose those whose household income is more than $45k a year.

From our vantage point, we see him blowing his money on beer and tattoos (one, ironically, is of barbed wire) and titty bars and $5 mochas and then asking his parents for groceries and gas and rent. This cycle of bouncing checks, asking for money and bouncing more checks just goes on and on.

What slays us are the never-ending excuses dished out by untitledmother-in-law. “He was adopted and who knows what he endured as a baby.” “Deep down, he is a GOOD KID.” Good kid? No no no. Good kids are building irrigation systems in Africa and volunteering at nursing homes and selling lemonade for cancer research. This kid – he is not so good.

untitledhusband and I, we try to stay out of it, cause really, it’s none of our business. And even if we wanted to make it our business, what could we do? We could broach the subject with untitled-mother-in-law and untitledstepfather-in-law, but they wouldn’t believe us. They’d end up hating us, and untitledbrother-in-law would become a martyr.

We go back and forth as to whether we are overreacting or not. Do we have a predator in our midst, or is this simply a young man who will spend the rest of his days working at Seven Eleven and kicking puppies? I wonder if this is the inner turmoil that Jeffrey Dahmer’s family felt as they weighed their suspicions against that little voice that kept saying, “Nah, he’s fine. He’s just a little…different. That’s it. DIFFERENT. He’s our son, he’s our brother. He’s FINE.”

23 thoughts on “Diagnosis murder.”

  1. I was able to think long and hard about this as I spent the day working to build a house with running water for a family of 9 in Guatemala.

    You need to stay the hell away from untitledsociopath. Screw everyone else. Ever heard of Darwinism? If they can’t figure out why his room is littered with dead kittens and baby seal skulls, then they will find out too late.

    I just don’t want to read that some family of three in the midwest has gone missing, and at the same time untitledlife has stopped completely.

    Save yourselves.

  2. I think he will only get worse….

    I knew a kid like him when I was growing up…..it started with animals…went on to small kids….and now he sits in Folsom Prison. His murder case got him 30 yrs.

    Be very careful…..

  3. I’m constanly astounded by the mantra “But he’s a good kid (guy…whatever).” Is it just denial? Or are these people who honestly just don’t beleive in sociopathy? My boyfriend used to say this all the time about this guy…this guy who *has* to be the most evil person I’ve ever known. And it would make me SO angry. You aren’t just what you EAT buddy, you’re even more what you DO.

  4. Robert Ressler (well known FBI behavior analyst and the man who coined the phrase “Serial Killer”) suggested in one of his books that there are three common behavior traits in Serial Killers: Fire starting, cruelty to animals, and bed wetting when young. So far you have described two out of three….. is there the third one in there somewhere?

  5. Pray that the bounced checks land him in jail before the animal mutilation or violence escalates.

    He may end up in the military. Know someone with a disturbing history that landed there. He lied about his past and no one checked to see if he was telling the truth.

  6. I am with John! Stay the hell away! And about what V-Grrrl said about getting to jail before the (and I paraphrase) serial killing starts–what if it has already? The thing about hanging out at topless bars kind of freaks me out with all of the other “symptoms”.

  7. Deemack5 is completely right…, forensic psychology is one of my strange little hobbies (yes, I know I’m ‘not quite right in the head’ and wonder if that’s why they are so easy for me to understand–that and the fact that my mother is an interesting but very dangerous sociopath.) Actually, since he has graduated from killing animals his next step really is people–whoever left the baby with him is criminally negligent. Is he ‘dating’ the pole patrol? If he is frequenting marginally valuable females (societal judgement, not mine) the sex is probably escalating to more violence, probably masquerading as asphyxiation fantasies that make it easy to, oops!, go to far. It is, of course, never the sociopaths fault. He sounds a little surprising inasmuch as you see no facsimile to real emotions–usually, by observation sociopaths learn to mimic emotions to camouflage themselves and make getting closer to targets easier. He sounds like he has the ‘charming’ part down pat tho. That is absolutely essential to facilitate his survival and eluding of authorities. I enjoy the mothers’ rationalization of what may have happened to him in his formative years(!) Considering that I am permanently disabled because of a childhood beating, I love people who excuse bad behaviour due to what they’ve endured. I am a truly good person w/o being a Pollyanna and I find self-serving excuses beneath me.
    Anyway, sorry to be pedantic but I spend a great deal of time observing the abnormal. Please take care around this entity and watch his behaviour around children if you can.

  8. I always laugh at your posts but this one sent a chill up my spine. This guy is so obviously disturbed. Keep him away from your child. Have any of your relatives had their houses broken into, things turn up missing etc.? As for the “he’s adopted” crap, Mom needs to buy a clue and hopefully she will before he kills her. You are very very right to be worried about this guy!

  9. Deemack5: I’ll look into the 3rd one. untitledhusband doesn’t remember, so we’ll have to do some investigating.

    Chris: He hasn’t broke into any houses or stolen anything, that we are aware of.

  10. Holy crap. Perhaps you could make an anonymous call to the authorities. If what you say is all true, there is really something very wrong with this person and aiding him only makes it worse.

    And, please keep the kids away if at ALL POSSIBLE.

  11. since i’m on record in comments as the “gee, what’s wrong with you all, they just made different choices than you did, let’s not be so judgmental” reader [re Duggers], i thought i would weigh in here and say STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS MAN. i also think he probably already *has* done much worse than just hurt animals. seems like most of the time there’s a very well concealed trail of blood back a decade before these characters get finally nailed. and frequenting topless bars, as someone pointed out, tells you who he might be (more safely) preying on. let’s hope the mother stays safe.

  12. dude, why is NO ONE in my family that interesting?!

    (oh yeah, and i totally agree. total psycho. reminds me of the scary redheaded kid that i can’t think of the name of.)

  13. If I were untitledmotherinlaw, I’d be nervous, not for my darling adopted son, but for myself. What’s going to happen the first time she refuses him money? Of course she’s still funding him; she’s scared to death of him even if she won’t verbally admit it to anyone. She knows deep down what’s what with this guy.

    As you been advised repeatedly, stay away. I’d keep frequent phone calls going to the MIL, though, just to check on things.

  14. Deemack5 mentioned those three signs too. I did some checking and it doesn’t sound like he had the 3rd sign. Albeit, the first two are enough.

  15. …”He’s our son, he’s our brother, he’s fine”…Does the name Ted Kazinsky sound familiar? (Think Unabomber.) Run, Forrest, run!


  16. Be very careful. Ditto about reading “The Sociopath Next Door.” He sounds exactly like my brother. The problem about getting him in jail is that the judges don’t PUT them in jail. My brother forged checks (a felony) and was caught in possession of a loaded firearm (a felony because he’s a felon). Two felonies, guilty, given 6 years prison sentence but the idiot judge stayed the sentence and he ended up in the county jail (same one he previously escaped from) 9 months and then was out. Now he drives truck over-the-road. Freakin’ scary!

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