Comments on: Diet Coke demarkation.

By: Anne Arky

Anne Arky — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 18:51:29 +0000

untitledlife, maybe some Sunday night you and untitledhusband could go into your office and “decorate” — you lie on the floor in a “shot me down” position and have him do an outline of your body with masking tape, as if in a “crime scene” mode. Just leave it there indefinitely and never explain to anyone. If anyone asks, just reply, “Oh, that was the last asshole who asked me a stupid question” or whatever it was that the last asshole did that made you mad. Or obtain some “crime scene” tape and drape it across the threshold of your cubicle.

By: untitledlife » Blog Archive » Open letter to the Outbreak Monkey.

untitledlife » Blog Archive » Open letter to the Outbreak Monkey. — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 14:26:23 +0000

[…] Last week, the Diet Coke Bandit insisted on coming to work regardless of the fact that she was packing the black death. Since I grew up in a household with two smoking parents, the slightest cold sends me on a journey into the Shadow of Death. This last week, I spent a total of three full days on my sofa in a viral-fueled hallucination, coughing out husky reditions of Salman Rushdie’s “Satantic Verses.” […]

By: rhonda

rhonda — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 17:35:39 +0000

The last corporate office I worked in had a very special person. Her ‘cubicle’ was moved into another room - away from everyone. This special person had such a ‘vibe’ coming off her - you could feel it. Way too much energy for normal folks to deal with. She worked happily in her own spot churning out payroll.

By: Betty

Betty — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 16:35:35 +0000

Sue- Hahah! I do that with my cubemate except its when she talks. I’ll hear her, but say, “Oh, were you talking? To me? Huh. Sorry.” She get so mad & I crack the hell up

By: Sue

Sue — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 06:09:38 +0000

My cubicle neighbor sings in a childish, high pitched voice. She will sing louder and louder, hoping for some comment. I sit in stoic silence until she finally says “Oh gosh. I didn’t realize I was singing. I hope I’m not bothering you.” And I say, ‘oh, I didn’t even notice.”

By: Trent

Trent — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 04:01:33 +0000

MamaPajama: I had a coworker once who actually did that. The “string” was a piece of bright orange masking tape. He’d ignore you until you crossed the tape, and then he’d freak out and start screaming at you. He lasted about three months before resigning due to “unlivable working conditions.”

If I were you, though, untitledperson, I’d start replacing all the Diet Coke cans with cans of other beverages and check for a reaction. Start with Diet Coke with Lime or Diet Coke with Splenda to see if she notices. After a bit, randomly replace one of them with a Diet Pepsi can. Let this progress slowly until you’ve replaced the Diet Coke cans with empty containers of New Coke, Crystal Pepsi, Pepsi Blue, and Surge.

By: MamaPajama

MamaPajama — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 02:54:34 +0000

OMG, I don’t believe someone else looks for hiding places and escape hatches. I know I can fit into my locker, and that by hiding under the desk and pulling the ever-present cardboard boxes around me I can disappear.

I think your best defense is cultivating a weirdness all your own–start with laying a string on the floor across the entrance to your cube. Then get REALLY upset when someone steps on it.

By: Erin O'Brien

Erin O'Brien — Mon, 21 Nov 2005 23:00:50 +0000

to crush an aluminum can:

1. empty can
2. place can on floor
3. stand on can on one foot (with careful balance)
4. slowly, slowly, bend down and tap side of can

can should crush into perfect aluminum disc.
stander’s elevation will drop quickly as can collapses
wear shoes when attempting this procedure
be careful!

By: Miss Jean

Miss Jean — Mon, 21 Nov 2005 22:07:04 +0000

Just sneak ‘em out at lunch and throw them away somewheres. Do it every day. It will make her nuts. Or bring more from home and stash them in her desk when she’s not looking. Put them behind the tires of her car. I worked with a woman who drove me crazy so I took a fresh, new condom, squirted some liquid soap on it. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKED LIKE. and put it dangling on her driver-side car door handle….then watched her from a window. It was SO worth it.

By: Flubberwinkle

Flubberwinkle — Mon, 21 Nov 2005 21:22:04 +0000

I had the same problem with a co-worker and her styrofoam cups with an inch of coffee left over. She would leave them all over the place, the cleaning lady was baffled and yup, everyone was WTF? Then in a matter of a few days, a styrofoam cup tipped over her keyboard and then another one spilled on her b/w laser printer. Ooops. The styrofoam cups are no more. I will reveal nuthin’.