Comments on: Of Vicodin and harnesses.

By: V-Grrrl

V-Grrrl — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 13:28:25 +0000

I always thought Little Tykes could make a killing with a primary-colored device called “My Lil’Stocks.” Every backyard should have one! And for indoor use they could market “My Lil Ball and Chain”!

V-Grrrl

By: feisty girl

feisty girl — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 04:58:01 +0000

I remember that skit! My brother was a kid that had a harness. Nobody understood why until they spent some time with him. And P.S. I’m fairly certain my parents would still like to put one on him, even though he’s 23. Bets lines of the skit?

Nicole Kidman: “My mother says that harnesses are cruel”.

Mike Myers: “My mother says that they’re necessary.”

By: Melany

Melany — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 03:09:00 +0000

Forget the vicodin. Fly to England and get over-the-counter Tylenol With Codeine. Then you lay back on the couch and watch the pretty sunflowers blossom on the ceiling!

I’d put the pills in an innocent looking Advil receptacle for the return trip, by the way.

By: Piglet

Piglet — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 02:36:48 +0000

Very well written. My son is almost four and he’s still going through this too. I try to blame it all on the daycare he used to go to. Prior to handing him over at about 16 months he was an angel. Once we began keeping him home full time, many times I wondered where my real son was. And I was definately one of those “not my child” stupid fuckers.

I’ve been experimenting with my son with certain foods and his behavior. I know if that kid gets sugary stuff, within 5-10 minutes he becomes the antichrist. And, I cut off the juice drinking at noon. This kid used to LOVE water until daycare turned him into a juice fiend.

My husband’s Dad had to be restrained as a small boy to a leash in their back yard. I used to think that was insane, but I totally get it now.

By: Julie

Julie — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 02:13:10 +0000

Every child has those times, mortifying as they can be. It’s actually a great way to discover who your friends really are.

And Vicodin makes me sick to my stomach. I’d go for the straight booze instead.

By: Emily

Emily — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 22:34:14 +0000

thank you for on our FIRST day of insemination making me doubt our decision! ok, well a small part of me is thinking, oh, that’s so cute! …as long it’s not my child.

By: renee

renee — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 17:33:44 +0000

where can i get one of those harnesses?

at least you can blame it on the terrible twos. my hercules is six, so that excuse doesn’t work anymore.

By: Mike

Mike — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 13:42:43 +0000

If Mommy and Daddy have enough Vicodin the childs actions melt away into the background. Sometimes they even become humorous.

By: jeanne

jeanne — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 13:31:39 +0000

If that were MY child….
He would have done all of the above and then in a last ditch effort to expel the masses of excess energy he has stored in his tiny body, he’d have started running in circles and ended with a “BANG” against a wall, sharp corner or the floor.

Forget, “Polly want a vicodin?” Let’s try, “Mommy want a vcodin?” To which mommy replies, “What’s this ‘a’ shit?! Give me a handful - no - give me the entire bottle and we’ve got a deal!”

Kids… the most expensive form of entertainment we’ll ever find!