What’s this I see on my way to work? Is it Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? Or Hong Kong Hooker and the Seven Johns? Let’s see, there’s Anal and Missionary in the background, kicking back with a satisfying smoke. Standing at attention in front of the grotto are Hand Job, Blow Job, Tea Bag, and everyone’s favorite — Three-Way. Oh, and who could forget Tantric — that’s him meditating on the right, polishing the wood for what must be the 11th straight hour. The way he’s going, he could rub the grain right out of a 2 X 4. That damn Tantric. Always so… withholding. What a killjoy.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, this new photo feature of mine is called untitledeye. A pretty fancy name for what amounts to me and my camera. Every day, I see some f’d up things, whether it be a administrative assistant wearing clear acrylic stripper slides on casual Friday, or a car’s rear window filled with stuffed Garfields, each dressed up in a different outfit. Someone needs to be archiving this shit. And it might as well be me.
Before you get all up in my grill about pixels and depth of field, keep in mind that untitledeye is soooo not about photo quality. It’s about capturing these images while not inciting a beat-down or a lawsuit from the photo’s subject.
I’m not sure how often untitledeye will grace our presence. The photo muse comes when she’s good and ready, kind of like Hong Kong Hooker. It seems we’ve come full-circle now, so my work here is finished.