When I dropped untitledson off at daycare this morning, I noticed something sticking out of his cubby. Lo and behold, it was an invitation to a “party.” The kind where you sit amongst total strangers, ooohhhing and aaahhhing over overpriced crap you neither want nor can give away to your old maid aunt (whom I am convinced is a non-practicing lesbian) at Christmas. And of course, you leave only after opening your wallet, paying $10 in shipping, and receiving the perfunctory ass-fucking.
Seeing that invitation in the cubby truly offended me. I’ve always considered this sacred ground, reserved only for daily poop reports, baggies of old breakfast cereal and the occasional noodle art. Perhaps this violation was my fault, for I had failed to slap up a “NO SOLICITATION” sign.
These pyramid-schemers, they do have some serious plums, though. On the invitation, it says “No formal presentation… just a fun ladies night out playing dress-up with jewelry.” That’s strange — I always thought a fun ladies night out required 7 mojitos, puking in one’s purse, and 4 a.m. pancakes at Perkins. But if I’m paying $30 for a pair of $7 earrings, I expect a little entertainment. In lieu of a lap dance, I’d like to see how those earrings can be fashioned into a bowie knife in case of emergency, or how the patented open-back design allows you to put them on using nothing but your toes and a stick of bubble gum.
LOL! Wow. You are fast becoming one of my favorite blogs. keep up the great writing
$30 for $7 earrings? Sounds familiar. Oh yeah, about every three days the kids bring home some similar pyramid scheme from school. Frozen Cookie Dough, Wrapping Paper, The Dreaded Magazine Subscription Scam and so on. That “Invitation” is mearly a warning of the storm to come. Brace your pocketbook, batten down the bank accounts, there be sqwals ahead!
How true, is nothing untochable these days??? I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!! I love your humor….
ladies night out without alcohol? what’s the point? i say the kid never gave you the invite… or show up with a boot flask and no wallet. that’s the only way to survive.
Why don’t a dozen of her friends plan a get together once a month for the next twelve, rotating to each person’s house (the host). Upon arrival, each guest will give the host $20. This means each person will have a party at their house once during the year and will collect $220.
Each person will also have to give up $220, $20 at a time.
In the end, no one will feel compelled to buy some junk that they didn’t want in the first place and will have a one-time “profit” of $220 that they could spend however they want.
Keep up the good writing, you’re one of my bright spots every day.
Woo boy, no one warned me about that before I became a Mom. The endless mounds of paperwork from the school. For the love of God, it has to stop.
Oy. Do you even KNOW the person who left the invitation for you? What balls. Or stupidity, more likely.
And yes, you have described a proper Ladies’ Night. Although we usually went to Denny’s.
My white-bread surburban secret: I’m really into Tupperware. Don’t tell ; )
Our horoscopes must be in alignment. The Husband and I also had an encounter with an invitation in the cubby yesterday, only this was the third toddler invitation, and seventh total for this month. Does everyone bump uglies in January to make babies?
Would you believe that my neighbor brought over a purse party invitation yesterday afternoon? What the FUCK?
Perhaps you should retaliate by hosting a sex toy party?