Poop-off.

poop·off (POOP’awf) n. An event in which two people (usually women) find themselves stuck in public bathroom stalls, each waiting for the other to leave so one can poop in private. “I just had a marathon POOP-OFF with some old bluehair in the Target bathroom. After 20 minutes, her sphincter couldn’t take it anymore and she left. It was like a scene from ‘High Noon.'”

12 thoughts on “Poop-off.”

  1. This happens in my office loos all the time. And there aren’t many women, so it’s easy to work out who is who by elimination (pardon bad pun). Then there’s Chatty Joan from reception who’s too old to care – or possibly too dotty to know – and just blasts away. High Noon? She’d be our Wyatt Earp. Or possibly Quick Draw McGraw.
    Thanks for the laugh!

  2. What a nightmare. Clinched to the nth degree prairie doggin’ all the way to the can only to sit down and find out you have a neighbor. The anguish in that situation is horrific. Extreme situations call for drastic measures… Politeness be damned, unleash the hounds.

  3. I sit here with tears rolling down my face, the laughter having taken over everything else. I didn’t realize this far-to-common event warranted it’s own phrase, but I’ll add it to my vocabulary nonetheless.

    This is my first visit to your site, but I’ll definitely be back.

  4. My first visit also, and so shall I be back.

    What’s the word for the swiftness with which you feel obliged to wash your hands and get the hell out of there, having been the only audience to a mighty involuntary orchestra in the next stall and wishing to spare the musician the embarrassment of eye contact when they emerge?

  5. Also my first visit and Im dyin here! Im so glad theres a word for that…happens here at work all the time! I will be back!

  6. Lets not forget “Syncroflushing” which is the art of “Letting go” when another toilet flushes to mask the ever so embarassing sounds one might make. This takes control and practice but when executed properly… no one will ever know you made a sound. Brilliant.

  7. Silly, generate your own “Syncroflushing” – just flush 3 or 4 times to mask the sounds…

    Although the comment by bee, above: “What’s the word for the swiftness with which you feel obliged to wash your hands and get the hell out of there, having been the only audience to a mighty involuntary orchestra in the next stall and wishing to spare the musician the embarrassment of eye contact when they emerge?”

    YES… the restroom exodus, the “flatulent flee”, the explosive diarhea dash…

  8. I LOVE THIS OPPERTUNITY: I JAVE BEEN WAITING A LONG TOIME TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM: PARDON THE PUN.

    IT SOUND LIKE WORLD WAR THREE IN THE BATHROOM WHERE I WORK. AND THE SMELL IS AWFUL.

    SO TO GET BACK AT MY BOSS. I HAD A HEALTHY HELPING OF BROWN BEANS, DEVELED EGGS. ALONG WITH A LARGE BOWL OF CABBAGE:

    TH0UGHT I SHOULD MAKE MY CONTRIBUTION.

    I DID GET A RAISE. BUT NOT THE MONATARY KIND.

    I JUST GOT RAISED UP OFF THE TOILET SEAT.

    THERE ARE ROOMERS THEY ARE CHANGING MY NAME TO “FLATULANT DIHREA MOLLEY.”

Comments are closed.